The pain must feel like snow

I don’t even know where to start. But I suppose where I left off. Jez’s leg hasn’t improved over this last week. It’s slowly got worse. I’ve lain awake at night agonising about whether to take her for a second opinion, and on Thursday night decided, sod what the current vet thinks, I want to know whether she’s getting better and what I should be doing to help her: two things I haven’t really ascertained from her vet. So after realising that she really wasn’t any better yesterday morning, and that she was holding her leg up more and more, I phone the vet that Jo, her trainer, had recommended. They agreed to see her yesterday afternoon.

The new vet was very nice and spent ages talking to us. He had her records from the current vet (I said that I initially wanted a second opinion), but said that they appeared to be quite confused and he had trouble working out what had gone on, so we talked him through it. He was really surprised that they’d wanted to sedate her. His view was that you fix the problem in such a way that allows for the fact that a dog will be a dog and will run and jump occasionally, no matter how hard you try and stop them.

Then he examined her.

I’m not sure how I held it together at the vets – I was so upset. Her leg is in a really bad way. Far from being fixed the joint is almost permanently out of position. It’s no wonder she is limping and holding her leg up. If you were trying to walk on a knee that was dislocated how would you feel? He was not happy that he could feel the pins in the way he could and said they would soon cause a seroma. We had been told that her left knee is fine. But when he examined it (oh, and he’d picked up on the fact that she’d been limping on that leg earlier in the summer from her notes – something her current vet kept dismissing), he said it too is slipping badly. So she’s having to put all her weight on a leg that she would ordinarily be limping on.

So, both legs need operating on. The right leg needs corrective surgery, assuming that is possible given that she’s had two operations on it already. The left leg needs surgery to deepen the groove in the patella and stop the joint slipping. He said there was no way he would touch her – wouldn’t even contemplate it. So she needs referring to a specialist. There and then we said we would transfer her to the new practice so that he could refer her. There are two options: the orthopaedic specialist in Ringwood or one in Devizes. The one in Ringwood is apparently the best (he suggested world reknowned), but is not good with humans and is very, very expensive. What’s left on her insurance ( just over £2,000) almost certainly won’t cover it. We’ve asked him to contact the specialist at Ringwood. He’ll see when he can get her in for an appointment and see if he can get an approximate cost.

There was another, slightly alarming, aside as we were about to leave. I’m running short on her anti-inflammatories/painkillers, so asked if I could have some more (I’d discussed what she was on). When he worked out 10 day’s worth though it was half what I needed. I pointed this out and it turns out he had mis-heard me. The dose Jez is on is the maximum allowable for her size. She should only be on it for a short period and at that dosage shouldn’t really be in any pain. She’s been on it for 2 months. He was clearly shocked. He said if she is limping this badly given her dosage then the pain must be acute (or words to that effect).

So now we are waiting to hear about the specialist. We know that there are at least two more operations ahead of us, and that meanwhile our little dog is in a lot of pain. And we know it’s going to cost a fortune. Meanwhile, we are reducing walks (to occasional sniffs outside when she needs a bit of mental stimulation) and keeping her in the house/garden. I need to find things to try an occupy her. This morning I bought a singing Christmas hedgehog (not a dog toy, but she loves that sort of thing) at Tesco. Ok she raced round the house a few times with it, but she thinks it’s great and has spent ages shaking it and gently chewing it. Our view is that although she shouldn’t really be running and jumping, the damage is done, so the occasional play isn’t going to do too much harm at this stage. So, here’s Jez with ‘Hedgie’…









Having been really upset last night I didn’t sleep well. I’m still upset today, but not as much and I’m trying to move forward.
Other than that I managed to finish my Christmas shopping in the week (other than Jez’s presents). And I watched Mama Mia, which I thought was a load of rubbish: contrived, badly scripted, badly acted, badly cast, poorly sung. I didn’t find it a feel-good film – it was too awful for me. I struggled to watch it all the way through. But I know I’m a lone voice. It’s supposed to appeal to women ‘of a certain age’ – thank God I’m not one of them.

Don't you know you're driving your mamas and papas insane?

I can’t believe that it’s been so long since I blogged. Where has the time gone? What have I been doing with myself?

Well, the answer is: not a lot. Other than worrying frantically over Jez, as those of you who keep up with me on Facebook will know. The problem with Jez has been that she has aggravated her knee somehow. Well, I say ‘somehow’, but she must have been jumping somewhere she shouldn’t. Every now and then we catch her at it. And she was set off a week last Monday by a firework that shook the house. It took her 2 days to calm down (she wouldn’t settle at night either) and it was during this time that she seemed to hurt herself. What on earth am I supposed to do with a dog like this? We tried the valium again, but since she gets hyper for the first hour after she takes it, we are trying to leave her off that. Instead we are now trying one of those DAP (pheromone) collars that are supposed to keep them calm! I’m wondering how long it’s supposed to take before they kick in. Her other new trick last week was jumping up in my sitting room and putting her front paws on the window sill (which she can only just reach) and trying to see out. So we put something in front of the window to stop her getting to it. So what does she do now? She stands back a bit then tries to stand on her hind legs to look out the window!

Anyway, we saw the vet last Friday who agreed her leg was worse again (and that was after I’d rested her for a couple of days). Then Saturday it got really bad and she hardly put it down. I was so worried about her. When I flexed her leg I felt the joint clunk badly. But we’ve rested her some more and it gradually seems to be improving again. She still walks a bit awkwardly (favouring her other leg), and skips a step from time to time, but is nowhere near as bad as she was. So I’m hopeful that she had just aggravated it and that it is settling down again.

Otherwise last week was Chris’ birthday. We didn’t do anything special other than getting an Indian takeaway. I’d knitted him a new woolly hat, which he seemed to like. Plus I got him a Bluetooth headset as he talks on Skype to someone he does a lot of work with quite frequently. Not sure if any of you are on Skype. I haven’t downloaded it, but could do if I had someone to talk to on there. Otherwise I just got him the usual books & CDs. Joy sent him the box set of Dexter, which she loves. We watched the first one last night and decided we could take it or leave it. I actually prefer Moonlight (which we have been watching), and think it’s a real shame that US audiences didn’t like it enough for CBS to commission a second series. And now, apparently, its getting quite a cult following. It reminds me a bit of the Charlaine Harris Sooky Stackmore series with its vampire/human love interest.

In other news I’m finally trying to sort out getting our en suite bathroom replaced. We had a woman come out and measure up this morning (much to Jez’s delight). It really needs doing: either the drain or the taps on the bath leak (so we can’t use it) and the shower tray is held together with mastic. We’re also in the process of trimming back the front monster hedge. Well, Chris is doing the trimming and I am doing the collecting up of the trimmings and taking them to the tip. I’ve made 5 journeys so far, but we’ve almost finished. Personally I’d have finished it today as there is so little left to do but Chris didn’t want to. We stake Jez out on a long line while we do it. It gives her somewhere to sniff around and seems to tire her out quite nicely for virtually no effort. Which means she is now asleep in her bed in the living room.

Well, that’s about it. I really must start thinking about my Christmas shopping.

Silver leaves are spinning down

At last we seem to be getting back to normal! Thank goodness for that.

Jez is much better, especially as we’ve left her off the valium. All she has now is are the anti-inflamatories, which she’s been on for ages. She’s allowed short walks (2x 10minute walks a day), so we walk round the neighbouring pond in the morning and afternoon. But it’s enough to wear her out, which is good as she then sleeps. And although she still won’t go in her crate at night, she has slept through the last 2 nights. She’s generally walking well, although she’s a bit stiff in the mornings so limps for a little while until she warms up. We think that’s where she hasn’t been using the muscles in that leg though, rather than the fact that her knee is hurting her (we think in that case she’d get worse, not better, as the day goes on).

This morning I took some photos out on our walk as it has been a nice sunny day. Just to explain we walk to the far side of the pond nearest to us (the smaller of the two) and then go into the small wooded area there. You can see where I mean from the satellite – it’s the wooded bit inbetween the two ponds.



So, here’s Jez looking miserable in her head collar…



And walking in the woods…



And a shot across the pond…



When we got home I set about raking up the leaves from the back lawn…



But just look at how many leaves are still on the trees! I’ll be doing it again, that’s for sure. But at least I’ve cleared the first lot off – they were getting trodden into the lawn and making it really wet. Only trouble is the tops of my arms really ache now.

This afternoon I took the larger camera when Jez and I went for our walk and got some better shots, especially in the late afternoon sun.
















And lastly I’ll leave you with Jez looking much happier with herself. I was worried that she was getting a bit depressed being in all day and having no toys really to play with. So I went round to her trainer Jo (where I got to make a big fuss of her 9 month old GSD Roo) and picked up an ultra-expensive dog toy that is supposed to stimulate them. As it wasn’t a leaping around type toy I thought it would be good for Jez, but she gets really excited when she plays with it as it involves food! Oh well, never mind – she loves it. So here are some photos from earlier today of her with it – she has to move those plastic sliders to get at treats hidden underneath. Oh, and in the second shot you can see the scar from her latest operation.







It didn’t take her very long to get the hang of it, as you can see if you take a look at the video of her.



What she has to do now is work out that if I put those little wooden pegs in she has to pull them out in order to be able to move the sliders. Not sure whether she’ll be able to cope with that!

Anyway, that’s about it, apart from the fact that my 2009 Bowie calendar arrived today. It’s really nice – I’m ever so pleased with it.

The mental and diva's hands

What a disgusting day it’s been today. It has rained virtually non-stop, plus we’ve had force 9 winds at times. As a consequence Jez has chosen to spend most of the day in bed.

The week-end went well. We had a really good bunch of guests (I think there were 49 of them). And as ever at the White Hart the food was good. It’s odd to think I’ll only be going back there once (at New Year) as Joy has changed hotel chains. I also took the opportunity while I was in Salisbury to do a bit of shopping - mainly birthday presents for Chris (it’s his birthday next week).

Jez was sooooo pleased to see me when I got home. She got really excited. Chris had been giving her the valium over the week-end. That seems to suit her a lot better and mainly makes her sleepy. I haven’t given her any since I’ve come home as most of the time I can manage her pretty well, and anyway, as I’ve said, she’s slept a lot today as the weather is awful. I thought one of the pins was sticking out further, but I’ve just had another look and it seems fine. She’s really stiff when she first gets up after lying down, but after a while she starts walking on it properly. She’s also standing on it a lot more, and is sitting more normally (she’d had to sit sort of slumped to one side). Despite the rain I’ve taken her out for a short walk this afternoon and it went really well. Once she gets going you’d never know there was anything wrong with her. Her stomach if fine again now as well, thank goodness.

Oh, something that happened on the Weekend. We had two really nice ladies from New Zealand as guests, and in the incident room on Saturday night something was said about healing. So in character I said to one of them, ‘ Oh you can do some healing on me’, and she did. It was wonderful – a sort of laying on of hands, but I felt so relaxed. It was only for a couple of minutes, but as I said the next day, when I went to bed I just felt so calm, and slept really well. Apparently she used to belong to some sort of healing group at one time.

I think that’s about it. I can home to find the house a total tip. There were crumbs and bits all over the living room floor, where Jez had been chewing things. And chunks of my dustpan and brush which Chris seems to have let her chew! And the kitchen floor was filthy. So today I’ve been cleaning, and it looks a lot better now.

Friday 7 November 2008: When the mother sighs

Just a quick update. I’m waiting for Chris to come back from his walk so that I can leave for Salisbury. I’m all packed & bag is in the car.

We have had a dreadful week with Jez. She picked up a bit Wednesday and then yesterday, as instructed by the vet, we gave her two of her ACP tablets. She was quiet for an hour and a quarter and then we had all sorts of problems with her. She was up and terrified. She was jumping up, backing away, running round, trying to eat the dog gate, an airer, and the furniture. She ripped by patio blinds and pulled some of them down. And she tried to eat the window. Oh and once again she kept pooing, so we were following her around with a scrubbing brush and toilet roll. Although she slept most of the afternoon and evening she wouldn’t go to bed and Chris had to sleep downstairs again. I took some video of her in case I had to show the vet. If you want to you can see it here.

Today she has recovered and we’ve been back to the vet where she’s had her stitches out. The good news is her leg has healed nicely and the pins have not moved any more. She is using it a lot, which pleased the vet. And eventually we managed to convince her (the vet) that the ACP tablets did not suit Jez and that she had an extreme reaction to them. So now we have some valium for her, although she’s been asleep most of the time since we got home, so she hasn’t had one yet. As I haven’t read any horror stories on the web about these, and as they appear to suit staffies, we’re not expecting any problems. I hope not as Chris will be on his own with her until Sunday afternoon. Fortunately we can start walking her next week – two 10 minute walks a day (although we add in standing around and sniffing time).

Not much to say about me other than the fact that Chris and I are now shattered and emotionally drained – sounds stupid but it’s true. I’m hoping that it’s all downhill from here on in and that our problems are over.

I’ll leave you with a photo of Jez from this morning. The caption reads:

"What Mum? You said I wasn't allowed on the sofa. But you never said anything about the coffee table, and I thought Dad had put those cushions on there so that I could get up and lie in the sun!"

Tuesday 4 November 2008: Pale blinds drawn all day

Thought I’d better try and do a blog update. What a nightmare the past few days have been! And I didn’t realise that it had been a week since I’d written.

So, Jez had her operation, and true to form, paced until around 3.30am, so I slept on the sofa with her – no way would she get near her crate. But she seemed much better the next day and was using her leg quite a bit. Of course, she still wouldn’t go in her crate and wouldn’t settle at night, so Wednesday night Chris slept downstairs with her. Thursday it was back to the vet for a check and she was really pleased with her, plus Jez was using her leg a lot. And of course, Thursday night she still wouldn’t settle. I let her bark for a long time, but Chris had a Murder Weekend coming up and I was worried about his lack of sleep, so once again I gave up and went downstairs to sleep.

Friday you would never have known she’d had something wrong with her leg. But the vet had said absolutely no jumping up at all for 6 weeks, so we started a new regime to try and keep her of the sofas. Basically there are things either on them or in front of them to stop her jumping up. And we have to take her out into the garden on a lead so that she doesn’t go up the steps or jump onto the wall. The joint is really good – the problem is the pins moving again.

So Friday I was on my own with her and we had a couple of very short walks just round the footpaths here as this tended to keep her quieter when she came back in. Friday night as I was on my own with her I did cold turkey and just let her bark and howl. She eventually gave up and I got to sleep (in my bed this time). Saturday it rained hard and was freezing, but we still had a couple of short walks.

Saturday night was dreadful – loads of fireworks close to the house. Jez barked from about 8pm until 10pm. I waited until it had all gone quiet and all the firework parties seemed to have finished then took her out for her bedtime wee. She was doing fine – until someone let of two more rockets which burst above the garden. Jez lunged on the lead at them (yes, in the sky) and pulled herself up onto her hind legs. So much for keeping her quiet.

Saturday night she settled down very quickly and I got a good night’s sleep. But Sunday morning she wasn’t walking so well again, and there were two lumps on her leg where the pins are. I was so uspet.

We went back to the vet on Monday and she says the pins have moved but not enough to warrant another operation, thank goodness. But now we have to keep her really quiet and she wants to keep her sedated. I’d been resisting this, but the movement in the pins gave me a real scare. So yesterday I tried her on 2 Tramadol as suggested. Hopeless! She slept for an hour and a half and was then was back into her dog-from-hell mode – pacing, anxious, ears back, barking at the trees! So I phoned the vet was given a different sedative for today.

Today I’ve tried her on the new sedative and am not happy. I’d looked it up on the internet and some dogs had reacted badly to it, plus most people had recommended cutting the dose. As the vet had suggested I vary the dose I started her off on half a tablet. She didn’t sleep though – she lay by the patio doors staring out. Turns out the brain is alert but the legs won’t move! Poor little soul. When she eventually got up she wobbled all round the house. It clearly scares her. I tried giving her the other half to see if that was any better and it’s been worse. She can’t settle for more than a couple of minutes and wobbles everywhere, sometimes at speed. From time to time she sits and shakes. And something (either these or the Tramadol) have really upset her stomach. Oh – and she’s trying to eat me out of house and home despite the upset stomach, and drinking loads. She is clearly very distressed and I can’t stand seeing her like this. 3 hours after the second half tablet she’s finally managed to settle a bit. . I’ve got a call into the vet at the moment. I know she wanted me to give her up to 3 tablets, but I’m really not prepared to. I’ll ask if we can try something else. What I want is something to make her sleepy and less alert. The obvious thing is valium, and I’m not sure why she hasn’t given her this. At this rate, though, drawing the blinds seems to be the best thing to keep her calm and dozy.

So that’s pretty much it. Nursing Jez has turned into a full time job. I did manage to make my two Christmas cakes over the weekend. And I coloured my hair again, but used a slightly different colour and don’t like it. Then today I’ve started to learn my part for this week-end. I was going to play the tart again but have swapped and am playing the killer, which is a really easy role. I’ll be in Salisbury so should be able to get to the shops on Saturday morning and get a bit of shopping in.

Tuesday 28 October 2007 - Something in the air

No – the Tramadol did not send Jez to sleep – it upset her in the same way anaesthetic does (apparently they both contain the same morphine based derivative, which acts as an opiate). So after a couple of days she wouldn’t settle and wouldn’t go in her crate at night – which meant Saturday night we didn’t get much sleep. So I gave her one tablet Saturday morning then took her off it. Sunday night she went to bed as usual, although last night she didn’t want to go back in her crate again. However, Chris managed to get her in at last and she settled down.

Yesterday we went back to the vet and this time saw Caty, the chief vet, again. The good news is that Jez’s knee joint is no longer moving. The bad news is that the pin is causing problems and although by yesterday she was walking much better again, it is clearly catching on the muscle in her leg. At the point where the pin comes out of her knee it’s swollen and after a short walk you can see that it’s been bleeding internally.

So today it was back to the vet for another operation. We hoped it would be a short procedure to sort out the pin that is already in her leg, but it appears not. I don’t know the details as we aren’t due to see the vet until we pick Jez up at 6.30pm, but we do know they have had to re-pin her leg. So it looks like the poor little soul will be in a bad way again for a while.

Otherwise I don’t think there’s much else to tell. I’ve finally got round to trying to sort out my Christmas cakes, so have put one lot of fruit in to soak. I’ve also found a new cake recipe that I want to try, but it involves Drambuie, which I’ve not been able to get. So I’ve now got to try and track some down (having bought all the other ingredients).

We had the heating fixed, so that’s good, especially as it has now turned a lot colder. Unfortunately we got the bill today. Actually, saying it’s a lot colder, this morning was lovely – it was quite warm out in the sun. So we put our garden furniture away and I cleared up a load of leaves, although that’s a bit of a losing battle as the oaks still have nearly all of their leaves on them still.

For those of you in the UK, Autumnwatch is coming from Brownsea Island in Poole Harbour. For those of you not in the UK, you can’t see the programmes but you can check out the website here.

Meanwhile I suppose I’d better prepare for another sleepless night or two (guess who’s turn it is to sleep on the sofa and keep Jez company tonight while she recovers).