Bit of a problem when we started our walk this morning. I was just seeing to Max’s poo (he really is the world’s biggest poopster), when Jez ran off to see a young Ridgeback. As I walked over the two women said to me, “Is her leg fixed like that permanently?”. And sure enough, Jez was jumping all over the Ridgeback and her left hind leg was bent up – she wasn’t putting it down at all. Panic set in – I was sure that she had finally torn the ligament. I rushed over and put her on the lead, only for her to decide to put it back down again all the while continuing to jump around with the other dog. After a minute you’d never have thought there was anything wrong with her, so it did not appear to be the ligament after all.
We continued on our walk, playing chase the pine cone as we went. And then at the furthest point from the car she started limping again. So I massaged her leg a little bit and stopped throwing the cones for a while and just let her walk and stretch it out. She was ok for the rest of her walk, and on her walk this afternoon, but I gave her a full dose of anti-inflamatory at lunchtime.
Meanwhile I went up to Broadstone as the butcher had some local free-range pork in. It’s supposed to be very good. I’ve bought a joint to put in the freezer for my birthday. While I was in there I got a couple of bones for the dogs. As they only had pork bones I roasted them before I let them have them. They were large bones – they lasted less than half an hour!
I didn’t get to watch that programme on the Great Rift Valley last night as it wasn’t on catch-up on cable, and I didn’t want to nick Chris’ bandwidth while he was trying to watch the football. I gave NCIS a go instead, which seemed ok. I’ve never been keen on CSI, but this seemed better. Bones is our favourite of this genre, though. We are making our way through Season 4.
Talking of TV, I bought Chris series 1 + the specials of The Thick of It for Christmas, so we’ve been watching that. I don’t suppose the Americans amongst you know it, and I’m not sure it would be a particularly successful export. But Malcolm Tucker rocks! In the series he’s No. 10’s ‘enforcer’/press secretary, and was supposedly based on Alistair Campbell, Tony Blair’s Director of Communications. And whereas I cannot believe that Alistair Campbell was ever like that that, the script is just pure genius. Her are a few Malcolm Tucker quotes from Series 1.
Responding to knock at his door: "Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off."
Moaning about minister on the phone: "He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo."
To a pair of rival advisors: "Laurel and fucking Hardy! Glad you could join us. Did you manage to get that piano up the stairs OK?"
Dressing down MP, Geoff Holhurst: "You're so back-bench, you've actually fucking fallen off. You're out by the fucking bins where I put you."
Advising minister Hugh Abbot to keep up with the zeitgeist: "You've got 24 hours to sort out your policy on EastEnders, right? Or you're for the halal butchers."
Note passed to assistant Jamie during meeting with blue-sky thinker Julius Nicholson: "Please could you take this note, ram it up his hairy inbox and pin it to his fucking prostate."
“Sam? Can you get me Terri Coverley and Glenn Cullen? Make them an appointment to come over? I think I got to shout at somebody, you know? Oh, actually, get me John at Culture on the phone, I think I’ll have a bit of a shout now.”
“Tomorrow – from broadsheets to wank rags – I want pages one, two and three to be a profile of Tom looking like a fucking political colossus, you know – Tom meeting the Pope, Tom in a NHS hospital chatting to little, baldie kiddies. I want pages four and five to be a timeline of British politics with me at the center, looking fucking indispensable and fucking benign, and I want page six to be fucking Israel or some bullshit, not a fucking DoSAC deepshit legacy-distracting cockup!” (Trying to control a news story)
“Within your ‘purview’? Where do you think you are, some fucking regency costume drama? This is a government department, not some fucking Jane fucking Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!”
And the one that cracked Chris up recently, on telling the minister that a colleague, Neil, had been paralysed: “Have you not heard? He's paralised. Neil's on wheels”.
Imdb has absolutely masses of Malcolm Tucker quotes in context. You can find them here.
And here, on You Tube, is Mr Tucker explaining Tucker’s Law (note, it mainly consists of 4 letter words so if you are easily offended then best not to watch it).
The associated feature film is In the Loop, so if you can’t get to watch The Thick of It, you might want to try that.
Nyway, it’s that time where I need to post this and then go and get dinner – spaghetti carbonnara tonight.
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